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"Shoot from the Hip"
> Mindy's Blog > 5 years later

5 years later

5 years later
"God never promised life would be easy; he only promised it would be worth it!"

As December 25, 2012 approaches it's hard to believe it's nearly been 5 years since Dan left us behind! As many of you know I had a rough 3 years following his passing. Nearly lost Malynda several times to death due to illness', I made bad money decisions, remarried trying to fill a void, proceeded to nearly die myself, battled a terrible addiction, almost lost my kids, lost my home, divorced.... THEN God intervened! I got sober, I got right with my kids, got back into church and I mourned the loss of Dan, finally! It took me 3yrs to get it right, but with God's help & the help of some incredible people I pulled it together for my kids, for myself and for Dan!!
When he was alive, life was so fun & happy! He always knew just what to say to make me smile; he took great care of me & all of his children. When he left this earth, I lost my light so the darkness took over! When I stopped waiting to die so I could be with Dan again and started to live for the 4 beautiful souls he left behind in my care God smiled down upon me!! God is so faithful to his children!!

"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalms 55:22
Once I realized this verse to be true, our lives change greatly for the good!! April 2011 God sent a man to me & my kids, a man that loves me unconditionally (just as Dan did), a man who loves my kids as his own (just as Dan would), a Godly man, a man that I have no doubt Dan would approve of in his absence!! We married; we live in Dawsonville, with a breathtaking view from our back porch. All 4 kids are doing amazing!
Max is now 11, an A/B honor roll student in the 5th grade. He loves baseball & guns! He has his dad's heart, he gives freely and loves whole-heartedly! He has a way with children that reminds me that Dan is never far from Max. Max has great memories of his time with his dad, although there were only 6 short years with Dan he has so many and he shares them with his younger siblings! He has mentioned wanting to be a MLB player & later in life becoming a Preacher! He is still the only red head out of the bunch!
Magnus is now 9, a "A" honor roll student in the 4th grade. He is in the gifted program, he is a math & reading whiz kid (that is ALL Dan!!). He loves riding his scooter & obsessed with Pokémon! He is a collector of EVERYTHING (DAN!!). He is on the swim team and loves being in the pool! Magnus was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in August 2008. We knew he was a different child from birth but just didn't know what that was. Although Magnus was not close to Dan, because of his age & lack of connection to others but he still remembers Dan tickling him & Dan always having gas, ha-ha! Yes Magnus looks just like me, but he acts just like his father! Very few knew Dan as I knew him, but take my word for it they are very similar :). Magnus & Max both got Dan's ability to remember EVERYTHING!! Good & bad!
Maddy aka "The princess" is now 6; she was only 23 mths old when Dan passed away. Gosh time needs to slow down! She is in the 1st grade, loves to read (3rd grade level!) and loves math! She is a cheerleader & convinced that she will be a princess one-day (thanks to Dan!)!! If Dan were alive she would have him wrapped around her finger! She is so beautiful inside and out with her big blue eyes & long brown curly hair! She would be the very reason Dan would have bought a gun :)! Maddy has such a tender heart & loves so big!
Malynda aka "Scoot" is now 4, the baby Dan never met here on earth! But I have no doubt he has met her! She had a very rough start to the world, but she overcame it all!! She is a normal 4yr old little girl, she is in PreK, her and Maddy are best friends (just as Dan wanted it!)! Malynda has Dan's ability to walk in a room and it lights up! She never meets a stranger and she's always trying to make people laugh!! She is the funniest 4yr old I have ever known, she says the most random things and for a moment I get a glimpse of her daddy! We tell her stories all the time about Dan, she see's pictures constantly! She may have never known him, but she knows who he is!! She is Dan all over and if he hadn't died while I was pregnant I don't know that her personality would be what it is, she is a gift from God & from Dan! She was the perfect ending to my 4 beautiful kids!
As for me.... I am very happily married to (Pastor) Chuck Crotzer for 1.5yrs now. I was diagnosed with RA & AS in December 2011, but I no longer struggle with the things I struggled with when Dan was alive & after he passed! I am currently in Bible College, going for my associates in Theology & Ministry. We belong to an amazing church and we never miss a Sunday! My husband owns his own business, one that Max loves to work at! I have 2 great step kids that are nearly grown themselves! We live on a farm with lots of goats, chickens & dogs! Life is good, it is really good! The kids are happy now!
The healing will always be a process but in time the pain changes. Life goes on and you have to live everyday as it's your last! Dan is gone from this earth but he will never be gone forever!!

Merry Christmas from Me & the 4 little M's!