This is a place where Mindy can fill everyone in on how she and the little ones are doing, and hopefully exciting changes she wants to share :)
5 years later
"God never promised life would be easy; he only promised it would be worth it!"
As December 25, 2012 approaches it's hard to believe it's nearly been 5 years since Dan left us behind! As many of you know I had a rough 3 years following his passing. Nearly lost Malynda several times to death due to illness', I made bad money decisions, remarried trying to fill a void, proceeded to nearly die myself, battled a terrible addiction, almost lost my kids, lost my home, divorced.... THEN God intervened! I got sober, I got right with my kids, got back into church and I mourned the loss of Dan, finally! It took me 3yrs to get it right, but with God's help & the help of some incredible people I pulled it together for my kids, for myself and for Dan!! When he was alive, life was so fun & happy! He always knew just what to say to make me smile; he took great care of me & all of his children. When he left this earth, I lost my light so the darkness took over! When I stopped waiting to die so I could be with Dan again and started to live for the 4 beautiful souls he left behind in my care God smiled down upon me!! God is so faithful to his children!!
"Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalms 55:22 Once I realized this verse to be true, our lives change greatly for the good!! April 2011 God sent a man to me & my kids, a man that loves me unconditionally (just as Dan did), a man who loves my kids as his own (just as Dan would), a Godly man, a man that I have no doubt Dan would approve of in his absence!! We married; we live in Dawsonville, with a breathtaking view from our back porch. All 4 kids are doing amazing! Max is now 11, an A/B honor roll student in the 5th grade. He loves baseball & guns! He has his dad's heart, he gives freely and loves whole-heartedly! He has a way with children that reminds me that Dan is never far from Max. Max has great memories of his time with his dad, although there were only 6 short years with Dan he has so many and he shares them with his younger siblings! He has mentioned wanting to be a MLB player & later in life becoming a Preacher! He is still the only red head out of the bunch! Magnus is now 9, a "A" honor roll student in the 4th grade. He is in the gifted program, he is a math & reading whiz kid (that is ALL Dan!!). He loves riding his scooter & obsessed with Pokémon! He is a collector of EVERYTHING (DAN!!). He is on the swim team and loves being in the pool! Magnus was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in August 2008. We knew he was a different child from birth but just didn't know what that was. Although Magnus was not close to Dan, because of his age & lack of connection to others but he still remembers Dan tickling him & Dan always having gas, ha-ha! Yes Magnus looks just like me, but he acts just like his father! Very few knew Dan as I knew him, but take my word for it they are very similar :). Magnus & Max both got Dan's ability to remember EVERYTHING!! Good & bad! Maddy aka "The princess" is now 6; she was only 23 mths old when Dan passed away. Gosh time needs to slow down! She is in the 1st grade, loves to read (3rd grade level!) and loves math! She is a cheerleader & convinced that she will be a princess one-day (thanks to Dan!)!! If Dan were alive she would have him wrapped around her finger! She is so beautiful inside and out with her big blue eyes & long brown curly hair! She would be the very reason Dan would have bought a gun :)! Maddy has such a tender heart & loves so big! Malynda aka "Scoot" is now 4, the baby Dan never met here on earth! But I have no doubt he has met her! She had a very rough start to the world, but she overcame it all!! She is a normal 4yr old little girl, she is in PreK, her and Maddy are best friends (just as Dan wanted it!)! Malynda has Dan's ability to walk in a room and it lights up! She never meets a stranger and she's always trying to make people laugh!! She is the funniest 4yr old I have ever known, she says the most random things and for a moment I get a glimpse of her daddy! We tell her stories all the time about Dan, she see's pictures constantly! She may have never known him, but she knows who he is!! She is Dan all over and if he hadn't died while I was pregnant I don't know that her personality would be what it is, she is a gift from God & from Dan! She was the perfect ending to my 4 beautiful kids! As for me.... I am very happily married to (Pastor) Chuck Crotzer for 1.5yrs now. I was diagnosed with RA & AS in December 2011, but I no longer struggle with the things I struggled with when Dan was alive & after he passed! I am currently in Bible College, going for my associates in Theology & Ministry. We belong to an amazing church and we never miss a Sunday! My husband owns his own business, one that Max loves to work at! I have 2 great step kids that are nearly grown themselves! We live on a farm with lots of goats, chickens & dogs! Life is good, it is really good! The kids are happy now! The healing will always be a process but in time the pain changes. Life goes on and you have to live everyday as it's your last! Dan is gone from this earth but he will never be gone forever!!
Merry Christmas from Me & the 4 little M's!
(Posted 12/18/2012 by mindy)
"Love Lives On"
I heard this song the other day by Mallory Hope (ironic that her name was one Dan and I always liked!)This song really hit me hard, for I have 2 little girls who will never know their daddy but I tell Malynda about him all the time and how much she is like him always trying to make someone smile or laugh. Maddy misses him daily, sleeps with his Centimark hoody, it's a blanket on her, lol! Love does live on, but it's never the same the second time around! If you get the chance to hear this song, you will know exactly what I'm talking about!
"Love Lives On"
I reached for you this morning Woke up with empty arms Once again it's sinking in How far away you are I still pour two cups of coffee And tell you all about my dreams This kitchen's way too quiet You should still be here with me
And even though I cry like crazy Even though it hurts so bad I'm thankful for the time God gave me Even though he couldn't make it last I'm learning how to live without you Even though I don't want to And even with you gone love lives on
I still call your mom on sundays It's good to hear her voice She always tells me that same story About her stubborn little boy And I kept your favorite t-shirt You know the one I used to hate Ain't it funny how it's the one thing now I just can't throw away
And even though I cry like crazy Even though it hurts so bad I'm thankful for the time God gave me Even though he couldn't make it last I'm learning how to live without you Even though I don't want to And even with you gone love lives on
She comes with me on your birthday Little flowers in her hand She's always known that somethings missing But to young to understand And someday she's going to ask me What kind of man you were I'll tell her all the ways I loved you And all the you I see in her
And even though I cry like crazy Even though it hurts so bad I'm thankful for what god gave me And she's the perfect way to make it last I'm learning how to live without you Baby I don't want you to But even with you gone Love lives on
Baby love lives on Love lives on Oh Yeah
I reached for you this morning Woke up with empty arms"
I miss Dan more with each passing day, I wonder if it will ever get easier without him here, part of me hopes so but then again part of me hopes not.
(Posted 10/2/2009 by dansmindy)
LIfe in Watkinsville
The kids are doing well! They are growing so fast, I can't seem to keep up with their growth spurts! Magnus is doing well in school, despite his diagnoses of Asperger's Syndrome in August. He is doing really well with his therapy (OT and behavior) and I learn new things each week to help him and you can see a change in him for the better. Max is doing awesome in school, he is exceling in Math (Dan would be so proud)! Maddy talks so much and looks like Dan, she is constantly trying to make someone laugh or make them "all better" when something is wrong. Malynda is 6mths old now and still on the small side, but her seizures are finally under control which is a great relief. She just started solid foods and loves them. She also looks like her daddy, so he got his way....all his girls look like him!! As I watch my 4 little one's grow up I can see Dan alive in them and although Magnus, Maddy and Malynda won't remember him he is still in them so much. The little things they do or say is just like him. Magnus lives to make people laugh and it drives me crazy but that is Dan coming out in him and I feel so blessed for that.
Despite what some may be feeling or thinking about me I love Dan even in death and I will always love him! Yes I have remarried, and life will continue for us all. Dan would not want me to curl up and give up in his absense. In the absense of Monica's dad he stepped up to the plate and treated her as his own and he would feel blessed that someone is willing to do that in his absense. There is not a day that his name isn't mentioned in my home, there are pictures of him all over the house and not to mention his ashes on the mantel that bring us peace in our darkest hours. I still cry for him daily and I don't know if that will ever stop. I loved him deeply, he was my best friend!
(Posted 10/21/2008 by dansmindy)
Well the boys start school August 6,2008....Max will be in the 1st grade and Magnus is starting Kindergarten. I would be lying if I didn't say I'm sad to see our baby boy Magnus start school without Dan looking on with such pride in his eyes. Michael starts High school, which is so hard to believe it seems like yesterday when he was going off to first grade himself. Dan would be so proud of all his kids, they are all doing so well and are moving on with life just as he would want them to. Maybe we could all learn something from these 8 beautiful children....there is life after death and Dan wouldn't want anyone to stop living after his death, he was the most alive person I have ever known. He loved life to the fullest and would want us all to live each day as if it were our last.
(Posted 7/30/2008 by dansmindy)
Together again!
Well this past weekend (5/24) was such a wonderful adventure! For the first time since January 2008 all the kids were together under one roof together. It was the first time Mike, Miranda and Mason met Malynda and they all got time with their baby sister. Then Maddy, Magnus and Max absorbed the rest of their time together like little sponges. I am so thankful that Holly and I are working together and I am able to see the kids. They will be back in late June to spend a month with us and I am so excited. Mike, Mason and Miranda have all hit a growth spurt and are getting so big, Miranda is beautiful and the boys are as handsome as ever. Dan would be so proud of all his kids and would be proud of Holly and I for doing what is best for these kids. He is watching over us all. I miss Dan so much every day but being able to spend time with all the kids helps the healing process a little at a time.
(Posted 5/29/2008 by dansmindy)
Tough Times
Although I knew there would be tough times to come once Dan passed I had no idea just how tough time would get. I keep hearing from people "I'm so sorry for your loss, it will get easier with time", where on earth do they get that idea?? Is it because that's how they handle loosing someone they love? Is it because that's just how it's suppose to be. As time passes I'm finding it harder and harder to be without Dan and it stinks! I have so many little reminders of him around me 24/7 and somedays I find comfort in them and other days I want to do away with them. I would be lying if I said I'm not mad at him, because I am mad at him because this isn't how it was suppose to be. I'm not suppose to be a single mom to 4 beautiful children, I'm not suppose to be alone during some of the toughest years of my life and he was suppose to be with me until we were old and gray headed and I was suppose to push him around in a wheelchair all the while calling him vulgur names, lol! I miss my husband and best friend and some may think that I have forgotten him but he is never more then a heartbeat and a thought away. He is my first true love and the father of my 4 beautiful children, we shared moments that I will never share with another human being, I will always love Dan and I don't want anyone to think any different!!
(Posted 5/8/2008 by dansmindy)
Feb. 22, 2008
Good morning!
I haven't been real good at keeping people updated with what is going on here in Alabama and I apologize. The house here in Alabama is officially on the market and please pray that we get some hits on it soon, nothing so far. I close on our new home in Watkinsville, Ga on March 6, 2008 and hope to make the move week of March 17th.
As for the kids they are all doing good. The older one's seem to be making the adjustment in Florida and Holly is taking great care of them. The little one's are doing ok, we have had some behavior problems but I seem to finally be getting those under control. As for my pregnancy, we are taking that one day at a time. I'm currently 26.5wks along and at this point each day is a blessing that I'm still pregnant. The baby is doing great, she is very active and is growing great. I'm going to be leaning on family alot once I move. On the upside 2 new nephews have been welcomed into the world since Dan's passing. Jon and Jessica had a baby boy "Jackson Daniel Hodgson". Stephanie and Joey had a baby boy "Joesph Theron Pitts", both little guys are breathtaking cute!! Both mom's pulled through the delivery's well and are doing good. I'm so thankful for this!!
